I Never Gave Up On You
by SuseliebeSuse
Summary: Losing him had been the worst part of her life. Finding out she was pregnant with his child had given her some hope, but after all these years, she still missed him profoundly. Wanted him to be at her side when raising Sofie became too much for her to handle alone. She even checked her babies every day of any signs from him all around the USA.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**  
**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

Penelope Garcia was exhausted as hell.  
Having a full-time job and a ten-year-old daughter to look after as a single parent wasn't how she'd imagined her life would be at all. Now, being forty years old, she had to handle the fact that nothing she'd ever wanted, besides being a mom and having a pretty good job, had worked out as she'd been craving for.  
Popping down on her couch with a glass of red wine, she sighed and closed her entirely tired eyes for a moment.  
Leaning her head against the soft fabric of her sofa, Penelope relished the fact that it was soundless for the first time today. It was ten pm by now, and finally, Penelope had managed to get her daughter to bed. Sofie wasn't easy to handle these days. The first signs of puberty were changing Sofie's mood like every second, and Penelope couldn't handle it all too well. Her once so sweet and lovely Baby Girl turned into a monster sometimes.  
This day had been worse than ever.  
Fighting back the tears, which began to form in her eyes, Penelope remembered their last fight this afternoon. Sofie had yelled at her, had offended her like never before. Admittedly, her daughter had apologized later, but still, Penelope felt like all her words were exactly the truth.  
_"You're the worst mom ever, I hate you!"_  
_"You don't even know who my dad is, are you afraid I would rather want to live with him than with you?_"  
Indeed, Penelope knew precisely who the father of her beautiful daughter was. It just hurt her too much to talk about him.  
Because he was gone.  
He was missed in the eleventh year now, and Penelope hadn't found him yet. Not even a single sign. She didn't want to admit it, but after all this time, even Penelope Garcia doubted that she would find him again. Nevertheless, she would never give up hope, never stop searching for him.  
Looking at her daughter, hurt as well, because she was just the imagination of her father, besides being a girl. She had dark-creamy skin, brown curls, these beautiful black onyx eyes, and, just like her father, Sofie was such a caring and kind person. It broke Penelope's heart every day anew. She'd tried to tell Sofie about her father many times but found herself locked up in the bathroom weeping hard. Even in front of her team, it was almost impossible for her to talk about him.  
Losing him had been the worst part of her life.  
Finding out she was pregnant with his child, had given her some hope, but after all these years, she still missed him profoundly. Wanted him to be at her side when raising Sofie became too much for her to handle alone. She even checked her babies every day of any signs from him all around the USA. But it was like he was deleted from earth since the day he wanted to meet her for a date in their favorite restaurant but never showed up.  
Penelope had driven to his house, with the worst feeling in her gut. His front door had been open, and as soon as she turned on the light in his hallway and had seen that amount of dry blood on the floor, Penelope had freaked out completely. She'd called her team to let them know what had happened to their team member. But even if Spencer had told her the amount of blood was too much for one person to lose, Penelope knew that Derek still was alive. She just knew it.  
Sighing once more, Penelope took a sip from her glass and put it on the table in front of her after a moment. She rose to her feet after a moment and toed off her heels before silently walking over to the shelves where she'd hidden anything about Derek's case in a book, she was sure, Sofie wasn't interested in. Pulling the book out of the shelf, Penelope walked back to the couch. Opening it, she, like every single evening in the last ten years, read through all the files, which she thought were important in Derek's case. Hoping she would find anything new, Penelope read every sentence, even if she knew every word which was written down there.  
"Hot Stuff...I miss you so much," Penelope whispered, her eyes tearing up once more. Her heart was broken beyond repair since he was gone.  
The ringing of her cell jerked her back to presence. Hurridly, she closed the book as if the person on the cellphone would be able to notice what she was doing here. Penelope didn't need a look at her phone to know it was Hotch calling. He had this unique ringtone. So, she answered the call, while she headed back to the shelf with the book in her hand.  
"Hey, bossman. It's way too late to call. So, I guess we have a case?"  
"Hello, Garcia. I'm sorry, but yes, we have a case. It's a bad one, and you have to come with us. Do you have someone to look after Sofie while we're gone?"  
"Uhm...I will ask Fran, I'm sure she has time..." Penelope answered half-hearty, not nearly in the mood to leave her daughter after this big fight earlier this evening. "When do you want us all to meet? I'll have to wait for her, though."  
"We'll meet in about two hours, see you then, Garcia," Hotch answered sympathetically at her words and ended the call.  
Penelope sighed once more and dialed the number of Fran, Derek's mom, and grandma of her daughter. Fran had decided a few years ago, that she wanted to live near Penelope and Sofie, to be able to help if necessary. Which meant she was only a few blocks away.  
"Morgan?" Even hearing his name made her too sad. She had to fight back her tears and swallow the lump in her throat, which began to grow immediately.  
"Fran? It's me...Penelope..." Penelope hated asking Fran for help, even if she told her to do so almost every day.  
"Hello, lovely. What can I do for you?" Fran asked with a noticeable smile in her voice.  
"We have a case...and I have to fly with them. Would you...I mean, could you take care of Sofie while I'm gone?" She asked, almost sheepishly. Penelope always felt like a burden to Derek's mother, like she wasn't good enough for raising her beloved son's child.  
"Of course, Penelope, I'll gladly help you if you let me," Fran answered happily. "When do you want me to come over?"  
"As soon as possible, honestly. Hotch wants us to meet in two hours," Penelope admitted, quietly walking over to her bedroom, where she began preparing her go-bag.  
"Alright, I'll be there in a few so you can keep me updated on everything important on Sofie. Thank you for asking me, I really appreciate it, Penelope. I can't wait to spend some time with my precious grandchild."  
"Thank you for helping me, Fran," Penelope almost whispered, being touched at Fran's words. "I know I'm not easy, but really, I'm glad for your help," she said emotionally.  
"It's okay, Penelope, honestly. I'll be there in a few."  
They ended the call, and Penelope finished packing. She then silently stepped into her daughters' room. Sofie was sound asleep, but Penelope couldn't leave her Baby Girl without saying goodbye to her. She had to tell her how much she loved her.  
Sitting down on the edge of her daughters' bed, Penelope tenderly caressed Sofie's cheek to wake her up.  
"Mommy? Is it time to stand up already?" Sofie murmured sleepily, turning around a little to face her mom with half-opened, tired eyes.  
"No, Baby Girl. I have to leave for a case, but I wanted to say goodbye before I go." Penelope explained, smiling sadly at the only person who kept her alive. "I love you so much, Sofie."  
"I love you too, momma, and I'm sorry for being such a jackass earlier. I don't know what happened to me," Sofie whispered, unmistakably in embarrassment.  
"It's okay, Baby. I'm not angry, and I can understand how you feel. You just want to know who your daddy is. And I give you a promise. Do you listen to me? Do you?"  
Sofie nodded, paying full attention to her mothers' words.  
"When I'm back from that case, I will tell you who your daddy is. It's almost excruciating for me to talk about him because I miss him so very much," Penelope admitted in a tearful voice, caressing her daughter's cheek once more. "But I promise, I will tell you everything about him, okay? I might need some breaks, but I will answer any questions you have. And I will show you many pictures, I swear."  
Sofie looked at her, her eyes wide open in hope and compassion.  
"Okay, momma. Thank you," she whispered, sitting up somewhat to embrace her mother tightly. "I love you very much, momma."  
"I love you too, Baby. Your granny will be here with you while I'm gone. Be nice to her. Do want she asks you for. Do your homework and help her, please."  
"Okay, I will do that," Sofie answered, stifling a yawn. Penelope laid her daughter back down into the pillows, wrapping her blankets around her tiny body.  
"Thank you, my lovely daughter. I'll call you every day and night. And if you need anything, call me too or ask your grandma. I love you and can't wait to be back with you." Kissing her daughter's forehead, she smiled one last tearful smile at Sofie before she backed up from the bed and left her daughters' room. Fran arrived about ten minutes later so Penelope could fill her in, to everything necessary on Sofie.  
"Please call me anytime you have a question," Penelope begged Fran, who pulled her into a loving embrace.  
"I will call you, I promise. Sofie and I will manage our time together, don't worry too much, Penelope." Penelope wrapped her arms around Fran for a moment, allowing herself to find some comfort in the arms of Derek's mother.  
"Thank you, Fran," she whispered tearfully, pulling out of Fran's arms before she began to weep again. Grabbing her bag, cell, and keys, she left her...Derek's house and made her way to work.  
Almost half an hour later, Penelope drove to the BAU, where she would meet with her team in the conference room. She was the last one to come and sat down quickly, listening to JJ as she began filling the team into the case.  
"Okay, guys, this certainly is a bad one. Four days ago, a male corpse was found near Folson Lake, Sacramento, California. He was beaten to death. Depending on his body state, he'd been hit many times before. His right eye was swollen shut, the left one in healing progress like many other wounds on his body. Also, they found a huge amount of drugs in his bloodstream. The man was acutely malnourished. But most importantly, the man had been missed for about fifteen years."  
Penelope looked at the dead man in the photographs. Even if he honestly was malnourished, he reminded her of Derek. She was sure that the man had had a healthy, muscular body before whatever had happened to him. That he'd taken care of himself. Nothing of that was left on that dead body in the pictures. Penelope felt her eyes tearing up once more in the evening, so she shoved the images away from her.  
"Today, another body was found. Just the same as the male before, the dead body was put on the Folson Lake like trash. He also was malnourished, showed several signs of beating and drug abuse. He'd been beaten to death too. The man has been missing for eight years now. His wife identified him earlier that day. That's why the Police Departement called in for help. They think there is more behind that. That there are more unsubs, maybe a ring which uses these males for underground fighting until they're dead." JJ explained. Penelope listened half-hearty. Again, her thoughts were with Derek, like many times a day.  
"Okay, JJ, you'll take care of the press. We want them to have as little information as possible. They're not allowed to publish anything without our permission. Emily, Reid. You two will visit the lake. Talk to the people who found the victims. Find out if they saw anything they haven't remembered until now. Rossi and I will talk to the local police. We'll see what they found out until now. Penelope. You keep doing researches on the first victims. Find out if other males had been found in and around Sacramento." Hotch told them, and everyone nodded in agreement. "Alright, wheels up in twenty," he remembered them as he rose to his feet and left the room.  
Penelope sighed and also rose to her feet to grab all the things she would need from her office, but JJ and Emily stopped her.  
"Hey...is everything alright?" Emily asked while JJ watched her in concern. Penelope forced herself to smile at her friends as she looked at them.  
"I'm okay, I just had a bad fight with Sofie that afternoon, that's all," she answered. "But, thank you for asking my furry friends."  
"If you want to talk about what's really going on, we're here, alright?" JJ said, grabbing Penelope's hand to give her a gentle squeeze. Once more, Penelope forced herself to smile and nodded.  
"Okay, thank you, Blondie, but really, I'm doing fine. I have to go get my stuff ready, see you in the jet." Penelope replied, leaving her friends to walk over to her bat cave.  
20 minutes later, they were up in the air, on their way to Sacramento. It was in the middle of the night, but Penelope was sleepless anyway. She didn't know why but found herself thinking about Derek more and more since she'd learned about the case.

* * *

"My name is Derek Morgan from Quantico. My mom's name is Fran, my sisters are Desiree and Sarah." It was dark. So dark, you couldn't see anything. And cold. The man, chained on his hands and feet to the wall, was shivering all over his body. "The love of my life is Penelope Garcia," he mumbled weakly, you almost couldn't understand him. "And I'm going to see her again. My name is..." the man started again but was stopped by the sudden light which hit his eyes as the door to his cell opened.  
"We've got some work for you, Morgan," someone said and unchained him. He tried to make one step but found himself stumbling to the ground. He was too weak to stop it. Couldn't even get the strength to stand up again. How was he supposed to fight?  
A needle was put into his arm, and very soon, Derek felt the well-known effect on the drugs they used on him.  
"I don't think he makes it much longer," one person said as they roughly pulled him back to his feet and steadied him. "Maybe not even through the night." Derek couldn't say anything, his lips were still swollen and hurt from a fight a few days ago. He just focused on putting one foot in front of the other.  
"I'm Derek Morgan," he thought to himself as he struggled walking to the fighting area. "I'm Derek Morgan, and" I'm going to get out of here.

* * *

**Just leaving this here, because I really wanna know if you think I should continue this story. It wouldn't leave my head for quite a while, I just had to write it down. Let me know what you think about it, please **


	2. Chapter 2

Even if she hadn't slept the entire night and the following day, which had been packed with a bunch of work, Penelope wasn't tired at all when she finally tried to get some rest on her hotel bed in the evening.  
She couldn't stop thinking about Derek.  
The whole case reminded her so much of him.  
They had discovered many hints that this case was the worst one in a very long period. Reid and Emily had found out that there had been a few more corpses several years ago. Penelope had discovered them immediately in her system. The men had been treated the same way as the two last corpses: beaten to death, a considerable amount of drugs in their bloodstream, malnourished. Before that, all men had been in a healthy condition, just like Derek had been. They had been put in and around Sacramento like garbage after their death.  
I had been ten men in about fifteen years. That was a lot, and Penelope couldn't stop wondering if Derek was there, if it was even possible that he was still alive...wherever the location was. She had a feeling and couldn't help herself, couldn't stop hoping to find her Hot Stuff alive.  
Hotch and Rossi had assumed that it was a fighting ring that used strong, healthy men for their fights. The rest of the team had agreed quickly, so there was just one thing to find besides the ringleader: their location. And Penelope had been looking for possible places all day long. She'd found a few until now, but Sacramento was a big city, and Penelope was sure she hadn't found half of the areas that could be possible.  
Sighing, she sat up in her bed. Sleep wouldn't come smoothly tonight, and she knew it. Taking a look at her clock, Penelope determined it wasn't too late yet to call Sofie, maybe her little daughters' voice would help her to get some much-needed rest.  
So Penelope didn't waste more time and dialed the number of the cell phone, Sofie always had with her, when Penelope wasn't in town.  
"Hello, momma!" The delighted voice of her and Derek's daughter greeted her after the second ring, causing Penelope's heart to jump in happiness. Hearing her daughters' voice made her forget everything she'd seen today.  
"Heya, sweetheart! I'm thrilled to hear your voice, how are you and your granny doing?" Penelope asked Sofie with a tender smile on her lips. Her daughter always made her feel better, just like her father had been able to do that.  
"We're good! We went to the park today after school and had some ice-cream before I did my homework. We had a great day. It was good, spending some time with grandma," Sofie replied, stifling a yawn. "I was getting ready for bed. We'll have a math test tomorrow." She explained then in a tired voice.  
"Okay, sweetheart, I just wanted to hear that lovely voice of yours, have a good night, Baby Girl," Penelope answered, feeling more at ease than a few minutes before, even if she and Sofie had only talked for a few minutes.  
"Okay...but, Mommy?" Sofie suddenly asked, appearing a little timid.  
"Yes, sweetie?"  
"I know you promised to tell me when you're back, but could you maybe tell me one story about my dad? Just a little one," Sofie began pleading. "Just like some kind of a bedtime story?"  
Penelope smiled sadly and sighed, closing her utterly tired eyes for a moment, which tried to tear up at once. That wouldn't be easy, but she'd given Sofie a promise, and why shouldn't she prove that she meant what she'd told her daughter?  
"I'm sorry momma, you don't have to...," Sofie began, sensing the unease of her mother immediately. "Its just...I'm so curious about my dad. I want to know as much as possible about him," she explained...as if Penelope couldn't understand that. She had been entirely wrong, not telling her daughter about her father.  
"No, no, it's alright, let's tell you a story. I'm absolutely fine with that, even if it still makes me very sad to talk about your daddy," Penelope answered honestly. She had to try for her daughters' sake. "How about the story when your dad and I first met?" She asked Sofie in a soft voice, who agreed quickly, apparently happy that Penelope had decided to tell her a story about her dad.  
"Yes, please! I bet it's pretty romantic!"  
Penelope found herself giggling a little at her daughters' words. "No, I'm afraid it's not nearly as romantic as you imagine it. But I'll tell you the story first, then you can tell me if you still think it's a romantic story," Penelope suggested, and of course, it was no wonder that her daughter agreed without a second thought.  
"Okay, momma, wait! I sit up. I don't wanna fall asleep while you're talking!" Sofie told her excitedly, causing Penelope to smile once more.  
"I would tell you again, you know? If you're too tired, we can wait one more day, sweetheart."  
"No, I want to hear the story now," Sofie exclaimed excitedly, apparently fully awake by now.  
"Alright, alright," Penelope answered. With a smile on her face, yet tears in her eyes, she began to tell the story of her first meeting with Derek Morgan.  
"Okay, Baby Girl, the first time I met your daddy was at the BAU, where I'm working now. I wasn't working there then, though. To be honest, I was sitting in the interrogation room because I was on an FBI list. I was one person of the handful of extremely talented yet dangerous hackers in the world. And your uncle Hotchner wanted to recruit me or put me into jail for a very, very long time for hacking into many systems, which wasn't allowed."  
"You were a hacker? Mom! Why didn't I know that? That's so exciting!"  
"Because I didn't tell you," Penelope giggled amusedly. "After my parents died when I was eighteen, I quit school and became a Goth and a hacker; that's it. I'm not entirely proud of it, but that's my story. I'll tell you another time if you want to."  
Penelope could hear a giggle on the other side of the phone. "Yes, of course, I want to hear that story! Oh, momma, I really wanna see you in a Goth dress, do you have any pictures?" Sofie asked her, still giggling.  
"I bet I have some of them," Penelope assumed, not entirely sure about that. "I think they're in my album. You can take a look at it tomorrow if you want to. But let's get back to the story before we discuss my style back then. Of course, I didn't want to go to jail, so I pulled out my self-made pink paper and a pen, wrote down everything Hotch asked me to. Your uncle welcomed me to the team and left the room. Only moments later, your daddy stepped in. And he honestly took my breath away," Penelope told her daughter, who became silent as soon as she realized in which direction the story was going.  
"He just was gorgeous, like a chocolate-colored thunder, with his well-formed eyebrows, he filled the room with all his being. Derek, your dad, didn't need to say a word; it was just his presence, which was stunning. He wore a suit, and his hair was shingled, his beard too, and he was watching me with the most serious expression on his handsome face. That's one of the moments I will never forget." She explained to Sofie, who couldn't wait for the rest of the story.  
"What did you do then, momma?"  
"Oh, I was as awkward as ever," Penelope joked tearfully. "The first thing I said to him was: 'Oh, beauty and brains!' And I observed him from head to toe. Your father didn't say a word, he just kept watching me, so I tried once more and said to him: 'Hey, eyebrows: when they do the men of the FBI calendar, is it just 12 months of you?'  
Your daddy just snorted and welcomed me to the team. He let me out of the room, and I went home."  
"Oh momma, you did that? That's so awkward!" But yet, Sofie laughed so hard that they had to take a break so Sofie could calm down.  
"I know! I can be embarrassing sometimes. You're my daughter, you know that." Penelope joked, causing her daughter do laugh again in amusement. "Okay, that's all about the first part."  
"Oh please, momma, don't tell me you stop now," Sofie begged her. "That was too short for a bedtime story."  
"Oh no, I'm not finished yet. We'll have another part. On the next Monday, I began my work as the Technical Analyst for the FBI. I was put to Aaron Hotchner's team, where your daddy was at too. I don't know which day it was on my first week, but at some point, I was doing some copies when someone behind me called me Gomez. And I remember how I thought what a Jackass he was because I had introduced myself to the whole team on Monday morning with my full name. And no one had ever forgotten my name. So I acted like I hadn't heard anything. And then, the person behind me called me Baby Girl..."  
"Baby Girl? That's exactly how you call me all the time!" Sofie realized, apparently excited and tense about what was yet to come.  
"That's true," Penelope told Sofie. "Your daddy used to call me that, we had many, many nicknames for each other," she explained to her daughter before she started once more.  
"Okay, when I heard that name, I decided to turn around and tell that man how disrespectful it was to forget your teammates' names. But when I saw who'd called me that all my anger disappeared with a puff. Your dad and I, we just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, and I just was able to dumbly repeat: 'Baby Girl?' And your father, he was very polite, you know? He quickly apologized, and all I could say was that I've been called worse, which is absolutely true, and asked him what I could do for him. From that moment on, your dad and I spent as much time together as possible at work and on our days off. That's how it happened. That's how we met."  
Penelope took a deep breath, happy that she'd been able to tell Sofie the whole story without crying even if it had been very hard on her. But she'd made it...and felt a little bit better than before. Maybe she should have talked a lot more about Derek. But it had hurt her too much to even think about him if it wasn't for searching for him.  
"I think it's funny. Not really romantic, no. But I love that story very much. Thank you, momma, for telling me. Now I feel like I know my dad a little bit," Sofie told Penelope with the softest voice, causing Penelope to tear up once more this evening. "I wish I could give you the biggest hug now!"  
"Oh, as much as I would love that, you really have to go to bed now, Baby Girl. It's getting late."  
"You're right, momma. You know how much I love you, right?"  
"Yes, I know that. Just like you know how much I love you. And when I'm back, I want that big loving embrace."  
"I do know that momma. Okay, that's a promise, the biggest hug is waiting for my momma," Sofie replied with a bright smile in her voice. "Sleep well, I hope you're back soon. I miss you very much."  
"I miss you too, Sofie. Soon, I'll be back home with you."  
And with that, Penelope ended the call. Sighing, she placed the cell on her nightstand and laid down once more, closing her entirely tired eyes. Sleeping through the whole night without a dream, Penelope woke up in the morning, ready to face another day, looking for the unsub in Sacramento.

* * *

"I wonder how he made it. I put all my money on his death."  
"Same here, dude, I don't understand how he makes it that long. He should've been dead a long time ago."  
Derek, not nearly able to talk, just listened to the guys who brought him back to his cell. Somehow, he'd won the fight, couldn't really remember how, but he'd made it. Only the thought of his family and Penelope kept him alive. He didn't know how long he was kidnapped, but couldn't give up the hope, that Penelope and the BAU team would find him at some point. Derek wanted to live, wanted to have his Baby Girl back in his arms, his whole body craved for her, more than he did for the drugs they made him addicted to.  
This night, they didn't chain him to the wall, they just laid him down on the floor, Derek wasn't capable of moving anyway, he felt so much weaker than before. Someone forced him to eat and drink something and took care of the wounds, the fight had caused him. After that, Derek was finally left alone in his cold, dark cell. Alone with his thoughts. He tried to remember the faces of his beloved family and friends. The look of Penelope, her scent he loved so much.  
How was she doing?  
Was she looking for him?  
Derek would do anything to see her smiling face once more, to hear her voice, but he'd decided a long time ago, that he would fight until the BAU had found him. And something told him, that it wouldn't last long...just like his body wouldn't last long anymore.

* * *

"Okay, guys, another day, full of work. Reid and Prentiss made out a man, who could be involved in that fighting ring we're looking for. The police found him tonight, he's in the interrogation room. Rossi and I will interview him. Penelope, keep looking for possible locations, please. Reid, Prentiss, you'll talk to the family members of the dead men, Penelope, found yesterday. JJ, talk to the press, please, ask if they have any news on our case. We'll meet here for lunch. If you find out something, call me right away."  
After Hotch had given his instructions, everyone got themselves ready for work. Penelope headed to the room, she could do her business, Rossi, and Hotch to the interrogation room.  
Only half an hour later, Penelope's cell rang. It was Hotch calling her.  
"Hey, bossman, what's up?"  
"Come to the interrogation room now. This man knows you, and he only wants to talk to you."  
"Uhm...alright, I'll be right there," Penelope answered unsurely. She'd never talked to unsub's before, and how did that person know her? Despite all the questions, Penelope stepped into the interrogation room only moments later, greeted by Hotch and Rossi, who had a very stern expression on their faces.  
"Oh, there she is, Miss Penelope Garcia, or are you already married?"  
Penelope looked up to face the unsub - a man she'd never seen before in her life.  
"I don't know you..." she began, but the man started laughing. It was the coldest laugh she'd ever heard, and it made her shiver, her stomach turned. That man was bad news.  
"You don't know me, but I know you. Do you still think about him? Wondering if he's alive? I really wanna know, Baby Girl, 'cause I can tell you, your boyfriend, he's a damned fighter!"  
Penelope froze in place, her eyes wide open, she stared at the man in shock. He knew Derek, that could only mean one thing: that man had kidnapped the love of her life.


	3. Chapter 3

Penelope stared at the man in front of her, shocked to the bones. His expression was arrogant and cold as he held her gaze, his eyes narrowed to slits and emotionless. Cruel was a word, which appeared in her mind, as Penelope observed the man for a second time.

"Derek is alive?" she whispered then, after what felt like an eternity, her voice barely recognizable. She felt her hands beginning to tremble at her sides, couldn't stop it, even if she would try.

But Penelope couldn't. There was no way she was able to control anything at this moment.

The man just smiled coldly at her, the smile not reaching his eyes. The way he observed her from head to toe while he did so made her shiver. If he'd said something more, Penelope didn't hear it, for she was too occupied with his earlier words towards her.

Derek could be alive. After that, she didn't hear anything. Nothing else in this moment was relevant, though.

Penelope needed clarity on these words but found herself unable to form a sentence as she opened her mouth and closed it right after that.

She heard the man in front of her laughing, and all she felt was pure disgust.

Clenching her fist's, she suddenly realized how blurry her view was, as she tried to glare at the man in fury.

But then she felt a hand on her shoulder, a comforting squeeze and turned around slightly.

"Let's get you out of here, Penelope."

Rossi.

Penelope looked at him and nodded shakily, leaving Hotch with the unsub behind her as she left the interrogation room with the older man.

"Come on, sit down."

Rossi helped Penelope to a nearby chair and left her for a moment to get her a glass of water. He put it into her trembling hand and helped her to take a sip.

"Talk to me, Kitten," Rossi said as he sat down beside Penelope.

She bent her head a little, her eyes still wide open, and watched him for a moment.

"Did...did you hear what that man just said? About Derek?" She stuttered, her hands still trembling, like the rest of her body. Penelope so severely wanted these words to be real.

If Derek was alive, she had to find him.

The sooner, the better.

Just the imagination of all the years Derek might have suffered like all those men who'd been found lately, made her stomach turn.

"I heard it, it seems like Derek is alive. But Penelope, don't set your hope too high. It could be a fake," Rossi said slowly, clearly not wanting her to get hurt more than she already had been for the last ten years. It was just now that he realized how shattered Penelope was because of Derek's loss. She'd always put a mask on herself in the afford to convince the whole team that she was okay. And she'd done an outstanding job...well, until now.

"But you do believe the man's words?" Penelope asked after she'd nodded a little, looking up at Rossi with so much hope in his eyes, it almost broke his heart. "That Derek is...or was there?" She added shakily, spilling some water over her colorful dress. Penelope just couldn't get control over her body back at this moment. She'd been searching for so damn long. And now, after all those years, she could be able to see her Hot Stuff again?

At least if he was alive.

"Yes. The man wasn't lying back there. And that's because we have to focus on finding their location. If Derek is still alive, I bet his condition might be very awful. I don't want to imagine how his physical and mental state will be. Do you think you can manage it, Penelope?" Dave carefully pulled the glass out of her hand and put it on the table beside them, as he held her hand in his. "We can always get you out of this case and let Lynch do your work if you feel like you're not able to..."

"No, it's fine, Rossi, I'm fine. And we both know that I'm the best, so that's not even a question. I'm needed here," she stated.

Penelope took a shuddering breath and nodded shakily, more to herself. She clearly wasn't okay and wasn't able to hide it. But hell, if she wouldn't fight it and do her work.

"I have to find him, Dave. I just have to," she whispered in a broken voice. Rossi took her hand in his and squeezed it in afford to give her much-needed comfort.

Penelope smiled weakly at Rossi and rose to her feet.

"Okay, enough of that. I'll go to my babies to run some checks on this guy. Give me any information you have about him," she told Rossi, trying to gain more control. Her voice was shaking, but hey, at least she managed to wipe away her tears as she took another shuddering breath. Her make-up was ruined by now, but Penelope couldn't care less. She had more important things to do now, finding the love of her life and father of her daughter alive, for example.

She poured herself a big cup of coffee and sat down in front of her babies only minutes later.

It took her less than an hour to get all the pieces of information she needed. A phone call later, the whole team sat down together to share the news they'd found out.

But it was Penelope's news that brought them closer to find their UNSUB.

"This...guy there in the interrogation room, his uncle has a few locations in and around Sacramento. I eliminated them from this one. It's big enough to hide men and to build several fighting areas. It's outlying enough. Maybe this is the right location, my furry friends," Penelope told them still shakily but in a firm voice. She'd gained enough strength to put herself through this.

For now.

Had forced herself to stop thinking about Derek and even more about his condition. IF he really was alive and out there, forced to fight, to take drugs and whatever else these people were doing to him.

Hotch nodded slowly, looking at the location for a while.

"You could be right, Garcia. We'll need backup. I'll talk to the local police, we'll be ready in at least an hour, get ready," he told them firmly and rose to his feet.

To Penelope, the hour felt like another 40 years of lifetime, and the whole Gand Canyon had been added to her shoulders. After the 60 minutes had passed, she felt like an emotional wreck.

"Okay, Penelope, you're not coming with us. If you're needed, an agent will come for you, alright?" Hotch asked her, to Penelope's surprise, very empathically. She nodded slowly and decided to take her laptop with her, just in case.

Penelope didn't even try to relax as she stepped into her hotel room twenty minutes later. She checked her cell every few seconds, sitting on the edge of her bed for the next two hours. Somehow, Penelope must have fallen asleep. Because, when her cell finally rang, with JJ's ID on it, Penelope found herself lying on her back, her cell clutched to her chest. Almost throwing the phone away in panic, she answered the call.

"JJ!" Penelope almost screamed as she finally managed to pick up the call.

"Penelope," JJ's stern voice made Penelope hold her breath. "He is alive. Barely. We need you here."

Penelope sat straight up, clutching her phone to her chest.

"Derek..." she almost whispered, her voice barely recognizable.

"He needs you, Penelope. Desperately. Do you think you can do that? He's in a dreadful condition."

"Of course, I can! It's Derek. He...I mean, is that even a question?" And even if Penelope weren't sure if she would be able to face Derek in the state he was, she would. Like she knew Derek would. Penelope would do anything to help her Baby Boy, even though she would have nightmares for the rest of her life. Penelope couldn't care less. Derek, the love of her life, needed her, and she would be there for him. No matter what. He meant the world to her. Still. After all this time.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure. An agent is already on his way to the hotel, he'll be there in about five minutes. I'll await you there," JJ confessed sympathetically.

"Alright, Jayjie, I'll be there in a few," Penelope told her shakily and got herself ready and out of the hotel to wait for the agent.

* * *

JJ was waiting outside the building to bring Penelope over to Derek. The thought of her best friend seeing Derek, the love of her life like this brought tears to her eyes. Penelope and Derek didn't deserve that.

If Derek would make it through the night or, to JJ's surprise, get a second chance, he'd have a hard journey. JJ wasn't sure if she would ever forget the sight of her former mate, mentor, and friend. Grabbing herself in the effort to feel some comfort even if she stood there all on her own, she felt tears streaming down her face.

The sight of headlights approaching, JJ managed to wipe away her tears before a car stopped right in front of her. A door opened and revealed an almost frantic Penelope.

JJ hugged her tightly as soon as her best friend stopped in front of her.

"Penelope," she only managed to whisper, letting go of her feelings for a second. She'd never felt more devastated by something she had seen...and that had been a lot in all those years.

Penelope hugged her just as tightly. JJ felt the tremble in her best friend's body as she held her for a while longer.

"I have to update you on Derek's condition before you can see him," JJ whispered, feeling Penelope nodding.

They pulled out of the embrace and looked at each other for a moment.

"You're crying...JJ," Penelope whispered, watching JJ with wide eyes.

* * *

JJ was crying. Penelope had barely seen her best friend like that. Derek's condition must be horrible. Her heart sank, just thinking about that.

"Tell me everything, please," Penelope begged as she and JJ began to walk towards the building.

"Okay. But promise me, don't freak out. It's hard, and I know that, but Derek needs you. As calm as possible," JJ began, looking at Penelope, who only managed to nod in response. She couldn't talk right now, wasn't able to. All her thoughts were with Derek and what those men had done to him.

"He's chained to the wall," JJ began silently as they walked across the compound to reach the point where Derek was hidden. "With his legs and arms. He's malnourished. And...I'm so sorry, Penelope, so so sorry...it's not like anything I've seen before."

Penelope shuddered just at the mere thought of her Baby Boy being malnourished and weak. She couldn't even imagine him that way. It was...frightening to say at least.

"Okay," she stated, her voice shaking, tears already clouding her view.

And it clearly wasn't okay.

Penelope wasn't okay.

Derek wasn't okay.

Maybe would never be okay.

"I'm sorry," JJ whispered, gripping her hand, squeezing her in the effort to give her at least a little bit of comfort, something Penelope desperately needed.

"And it's not over yet. The UNSUB's made Derek addicted to drugs, just like the other victims before him. We don't know yet what they gave him, but Spence said...he said it's a wonder that Derek is still alive. And to say he's alive, he barely is. Derek didn't recognize anyone of us. He's panicking and calling your name."

JJ paused a moment, watching Penelope for a moment. Penelope was a shaking mess by now. She didn't know how she would be able to face Derek to comfort him.

"He's hurt. Spence said he must have had a fight in the last few days. But he further said that if Derek gets to a hospital as fast as possible, there is a chance for him to make it."

Penelope still wasn't able to say anything, not one word slipped out of her mouth as she tried to get her head around all the information's, JJ had given her.

"Is there more?" Penelope asked her friend the moment, JJ brought them to a halt in front of an iron door with many locks on it. These locks had been opened by force, Penelope just realized.

It was then that Hotch and Rossi stepped out of the room. Rossi pulled her in a tight hug, and Hotch patted her shoulder in the effort to give her some comfort. Penelope would never forget the look on their faces in her whole life. It was devastating.

"Just try to comfort him, Penelope. We need to enchain him, but he doesn't let us near him. He's calling for you, he needs you."

Penelope nodded. It was then that she heart a raspy, weak voice calling her name. Penelope froze for a second.

Could that be him?

Her energetic, beautiful Derek?

She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears, which had bee streaming down her face since JJ had started to tell her about Derek.

"Okay, I'll try," she whispered, taking a step forward.

She almost jumped when Spencer came out of the room as well, Penelope hadn't realized that he still must have been there.

And, to her surprise, Spencer pulled her into a big hug. Penelope could almost feel the tremble in his body.

This must be as hard on him as it was on her. Derek had always been like a bigger brother to Spencer, helping the younger boy whenever needed.

Penelope wrapped her arms around Spencer and squeezed him for a moment before she pulled out of the embrace and let Spencer step aside.

Taking another deep breath, Penelope finally stepped into the room, Derek was waiting for her.


	4. Chapter 4

Penelope slowly and hesitantly stepped into the room, Derek was waiting for her. He hadn't called her name for a while now. It worried Penelope, but she needed another few seconds to calm herself down.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Penelope just stood there for a moment, one hand on the doorframe, the other one clenched to a fist.

She didn't know how to do this.

Derek was hurting.

He could die.

How could she hide her emotions as soon as she would see him?

How to comfort him, when all Penelope wanted was to hide in a corner and cry?

How to stay strong when she sure as hell wasn't?

She honestly didn't know.

Penelope had to remind herself that this was Derek. That he needed her a lot. That the only person he asked for was her.

He would do the same thing for her.

And that was, what finally made her move.

She took a few deep, shuddering breaths, and hesitantly opened her brown eyes that were stinging with tears. She stepped a little more into the room to take a closer look at her Hot Stuff.

Penelope had seen a lot since she'd joined the BAU.

She'd thought there wasn't anything that could shock her now.

That she'd become tough.

But seeing Derek now was the worst thing, Penelope had ever seen in all those years she'd been working for the FBI.

All the cute cat videos in the world wouldn't be able to make it up for the sight in front of her.

Every word, JJ had used to describe Derek's condition felt like it hadn't been enough for what Penelope saw. If she didn't know for sure that this was him, Penelope wouldn't have recognized Derek.

He was chained to the wall with both hands and feet, forced to stand all the way. His shoulders must hurt so much, was one of the first thoughts, Penelope had.

They'd let his hair grown. Also, his beard. Grey wisps were to be seen in between his black, filthy hair.

Once he had been muscular, his perfect body well-toned.

Her chocolate-colored adonis.

Now, all Penelope could see was skin and bones. She could see every rip on his torso.

His hip bones stood out.

No six-pack was to be seen anymore.

Derek's once beautiful chocolate-colored skin was covered in newer and older bruises. He must have had his left leg broken, the way he was standing on it made it evident, even to her.

He appeared to be so fragile, Penelope almost couldn't stand it.

It felt so unreal. Like the worst movie, Penelope had ever seen.

More tears stung in her eyes as she looked him up and down.

"Oh, Derek," Penelope whispered tearfully as she took a hesitant step closer, not wanting to scare the man she still loved so much. Her heart clenched painfully.

She didn't want to imagine the pain he must've been in for the last years.

"P...Penelope?"

His head all so slowly moved into the direction he'd heard her voice coming from. Derek fought to open his eyes, but failed. His head sank back onto his chest. He was breathing heavily as he tried to lift his head for a second time.

"Baby..."

"I'm here, Hot Stuff." Penelope was fast to answer, not wanting him to move much more. JJ had told her that Derek shouldn't get more upset than he already was. Penelope had to remind herself that she was here to comfort him so that the doctors could take care of Derek as fast as possible.

"Can I come closer?" Penelope fought hard to keep her voice calm, but couldn't stop her tears from falling as she saw Derek nodding weakly.

"Please...Baby Girl..." Derek murmured hoarsely.

His breathing was shallow, and despite his dark skin, Derek was unhealthy pale.

It worried Penelope endlessly.

She slowly walked closer, being mindful of making enough noise for Derek to follow. She didn't want him to get more scared because of her. It would kill her.

"I...I'm touching you, okay, Handsome?" Penelope asked, her voice was shaking as she did so. She couldn't stop it, though. Seeing Derek like this? It hurt so goddamn much. Penelope couldn't cope with it.

"Please...Penelope," Derek's voice, as hoarse as it was, almost broke at those words. Penelope recognized the tears that streamed down his face as well.

He still couldn't open his eyes, but he'd bent his head in her direction, following every sound Penelope was doing.

"I'm here now...it's okay, Derek. I've got you," Penelope whispered as she hesitantly reached out her hand and cupped Derek's cheek tenderly.

At first, Derek flinched at the contact, wincing as he apparently awaited pain.

Her heart broke at that sound.

Never, not once since she knew him, Derek had made such a fear-stricken sound. But yet, Penelope let her hand there, letting Derek get used to her touch. She had to force herself to do so, but somehow, Penelope knew the right thing to do. She knew Derek better than anyone. And even if they'd spent so many years apart, Penelope still could sense what Derek needed.

"No one's going to hurt you now, Hot Stuff. Not anymore," Penelope murmured, not able anymore to hide a silent sob. "God, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. But I'm here now. I'm here, and you're safe, okay? I will fight anyone who tries to hurt you. No one will ever do this to you again...I promise, Hot Stuff," she added, the need to comfort Derek stronger than anything she'd felt before entering the room. Nothing was more important than Derek.

"Penelope," Derek brokenly murmured, finally relaxing a little bit into her touch. He once more tried to open his bruised eyes.

Penelope could feel his need to see her in person.

And when he finally was successful and met her eyes through half-lidded ones, the relief she felt was overwhelming to say at least.

"Hey, Baby Boy," Penelope whispered, forcing a smile though she honestly felt like crying. But Derek relaxed a little more, even if a few more tears slid down his face, wettening Penelope's hand.

"You're...here," he murmured weakly, obviously not really trusting his eyes.

"We're all here, Derek," Penelope whispered, stepping as close as possible to him as she talked. He felt so cold, it made Penelope shiver, even through her clothes.

God, how much she wanted to hug him, to warm him.

"Spencer, JJ, Emily, Rossi, and Hotch. We're going to get you out of here, okay? I need you to see a doctor," she murmured slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him with emotions.

Hearing a sob from Derek, Penelope's heart clenched once more.

"You found me. Is that true?" She almost didn't understand him as he slurred his words out slowly and silently.

"Yes...you're safe now, Derek. We got you." Penelope smiled a little at these words, tenderly caressing his cheek with her thumb. Another hoarse sob escaped Derek's throat, and he closed his eyes again.

"I wanna get out of here...wanna go home," Derek murmured weakly, leaning into her touch as much as he was able to.

"That's what we're going to do, Handsome. But we need to loose these bonds first, okay? Can the other's come inside?"

"Stay...just...stay with me." Derek murmured but agreed to her question with a hesitant nod.

"I'm not going anywhere, Derek. Not now that I finally got you back. I'll be at your side all the way, I promise. I just can't help you all alone."

"Okay."

Penelope was fast to call the others inside then. Still, she remained at Derek's side, cupping his cheek, stroking his cheekbone tenderly with her thumb. Derek had to feel her presence, she knew that. More now, as the other's entered the room, joining Penelope and Derek in his former cell.

"JJ and Rossi will loose the chains that are holding your arms, okay? Emily and Hotch your legs. Spencer is here to help me catching and steadying you. I don't want you to fall and get hurt more than you already are," Penelope explained slowly, so Derek was able to follow her words.

"Is that okay?"

It took him a while to process the pieces of information, Penelope had given him. But after a while, Derek nodded in agreement. He was obviously getting weaker with every passing moment they spent talking. It exhausted him too much, and Penelope wanted nothing more than to see him in medical care.

The others who'd been listening all along got into their positions. Spencer murmured something to Derek before he touched him. Derek tensed anyway, but only for a moment before he recognized the touch as a gentle and caring one.

"Okay, Derek. Are you ready?" Penelope whispered, watching the love of her life patiently. Tears still streamed down her face, she couldn't help it, couldn't stop them. But she remained stable for her Hot Stuff. He needed her calm.

There would be time for an emotional breakdown.

Later.

The whole team gently and carefully brought Derek out of the chains as soon as he nodded. He winced in pain, tensed at the contact of too many hands on him, but remained as calm as possible. Penelope talked to him all the time until Derek was brought out of the room.

They had to carry him.

Derek wasn't able to take one step.

He just was too weak to help them in any way.

He fainted halfway, and they had to stop for to Spencer check Derek's pulse. It was a shallow pulse, and Spencer had trouble finding it.

But luckily, the ambulance, as well as an emergency doctor, was already waiting for them.

As carefully, yet as fast as possible, they laid Derek down onto the stretcher. Penelope immediately took her place at Derek's side while the doctors started to give first aid. It shattered her to watch this, but Penelope wouldn't leave his side. There was no way for her to leave him alone.

It took the emergency doctor a while to steady Derek enough for the transport to the hospital.

"You can join us in the ambulance," he told Penelope, who nodded. She would've joined them anyway, but was glad that they offered it before Penelope had to ask.

There was no time for her to hug her teammates before they drove to the nearest hospital. But Penelope knew they would follow the ambulance. She would need a big hug from her teammates. God, Penelope desperately needed someone to lean on for at least a moment.

But it wasn't over yet.

Derek's heart stopped beating at least twice during the short drive to the hospital.

Watching him almost dying was the worst thing Penelope had ever experienced.

She once more felt stuck in a bad movie when the emergency doctor started his attempts at resuscitation for the second time. Her view became blurry from all the tears that spilled out of her eyes without control.

Penelope couldn't lose him.

Not now that she had him back. That he got his second chance.

"Please, God, don't do this to me," she whispered, clutching her dress with both her hands. "Don't let him die...please."

Penelope had never been one to believe in God.

However, right now, she couldn't help but beg to him.

To pray for Derek to be alive.

For him to get to know his daughter. Oh, how much Penelope wanted him to get to meet Sofie.

To see his momma and sisters again.

Penelope had never prayed, but today, while she watched the doctor's fight for Derek's life, she couldn't stop it.

And when his heart finally started to beat again for the second time, the pulse remained low, but steady until they arrived at the hospital.

Penelope couldn't help to send a silent thank you to whoever had heard her prayer.

It all went fast then.

He was brought to the ER in no time, and all, Penelope could do was to wait for any news the nurses or a doctor would bring her.

* * *

Fran jumped awake in the middle of the night when her cellphone started ringing loudly. She'd always took it with her when Penelope was away - just in case.

Penelope hadn't called her before at night, but when she read her name on display, Fran instantly had a bad feeling in her gut.

"Hey Penelope," Fran greeted her curiously. "What makes you call at that ungodly hour?" She tried to joke, even though Fran didn't feel like it. And when she heard Penelope's voice, Fran's heart sank.

"It's Derek," Penelope quavered, trying and failing to hide a sob. It was evident that Penelope was crying.

Fran remained silent for a while.

Did she want to know what happened?

Was she ready to face the news that Penelope had for her?

Taking a deep breath, Fran cleared her voice.

She had to know.

Whatever it was.

Fran needed to know what happened to her Baby Boy.

Even if it would break her.

"What happened...Penelope...please tell me everything."

To her surprise, Fran's voice appeared clear and calm as she spoke to Penelope.

"We found him."

Once more, Fran didn't say a word as she listened to the sobs that escaped Penelope's throat at the other end of the phone.

"What...what did you just say?"

Fran couldn't believe it. Was he alive? After all those years?

"He...he's at the hospital. He's in a very critical condition. They don't know if he makes it through the night, Fran. But he's...he's alive. We found him, and he's alive," Penelope all but stuttered under tears, repeating herself constantly. But Fran couldn't care less. All she wanted to hear were those words. _He's alive_. "Hotch...he somehow made it possible to get a jet for you and Sofie. You have to come to Sacramento."

"Penelope."

Fran was in shock. Her Baby Boy was alive.

The BAU had somehow made it possible and found him.

"I know...I...I really need you here, Fran. I...Derek needs you here as well...he...he's been asking for you," Penelope answered, but was unable to say one more word before she started sobbing once more.

"I'm sorry, Fran...I," she tried once more, but Fran stopped her. It was evident that Penelope was totally overwhelmed with emotions.

"Oh, sweetheart...Penelope," Fran started. Tears started to stream down her face as well as the realization sunk in that Derek was alive. That he still could live.

"I'll pack a bag for Sophie and me. Tell me everything, please," Fran told Penelope hoarsely as she brought her legs out of bed and rose to her feet.

Fran was fast to pack a few things she would need while Penelope told her what had happened to Derek.

That it broke Fran's heart was an understatement.

It wrecked her.

Derek had gone through so much in his life before he'd joined the BAU. He'd been kidnapped for the last ten years and gotten hurt so much. Fran wasn't sure if she could bear the view of her son. But she had to remain strong for Penelope, and Sofie. And for Derek. She knew that her son would need her at his side.

They ended the call a few minutes later.

It was just then that Fran gave in to her feelings for a moment. She cried until she felt like no tear was left. When Fran finally had calmed down, she checked the clock. Ten minutes had passed.

Deciding that they needed to hurry, Fran quickly got dressed and went to her grandchild's room. Trying to wake her gently, Fran tenderly caressed Sofie's cheek, until the little girl opened her eyes.

"Grandma?" Sofie asked in confusion. "Is it morning already?"

"No sweetheart, it's two in the morning. But you need to get up. We have to catch a flight."

And suddenly, Sofie was wide awake.

"A flight?"

"Yes...we're flying to Sacramento. Your mom and her teammates found your daddy, Baby Girl," Fran explained, feeling fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

Sofie's eyes were wide as she watched her grandma, not really knowing how to cope with this piece of information. She slowly sat up in her bed, brows furrowed. God, how much she reminded Fran of Derek at that very moment.

"Is that true?"

Fran only nodded and brought her in for a big bear hug.

Sofie brought her arms around Fran's torso and snuggled close to her grandma. They sat there for a moment, both trying to fight against the tears that dared to come out.

"We have to hurry, Sofie. I'll get you a bag ready, go, get dressed, okay? We have to be at the BAU in half an hour," Fran explained gently, feeling Sofie nodding her head in agreement.

Her grandchild hadn't been this fast in forever.

She was ready even before Frand had packed her bag.

Only minutes later, they were seated in Fran's car and on their way to the BAU, where their jet was already waiting for them.


End file.
